Baby days

These days, the weeks just whiz by. Ellie is seven and although she started Primary 1 just half a year ago it seems as if she has been in Primary school for longer than that. Caitlin is five going on six. When all three girls play in their room together ask that they be left alone,  I realise my babies are not babies anymore. Of course there is Kristen, two and a half going on thirteen, who thinks she is a big girl, acts like a big girl and is going through a particularly wilful, I-want-to-do-things-my-way stage of her life.

So while it seems like it is pure madness most days (mostly when I am trying to get the older girls to do their work for the day while Kristen whines for attention), other days seem surprisingly easy (when they all decide to play on their own and not want mama).

Sometimes I look at the older girls in Ellie's school when I pick her up and it hits me that in a very short time MY girls will be these older girls. All independent, all grown up, self assured. When I am chasing Kristen to get her clothes on,  thinking of ways to cajole her into brushing her teeth, getting up to get one more thing from the fridge I wish the girls would grow up a little bit quicker. But I know that one day I will look back a realise that the baby days are what I miss most. 

Kristen finishes her pasta- a big deal

We've always had a fussy eater in the family. Some families have to stop their kids from wolfing down their meals but my problem has always been getting them to eat up whatever it is on their plate. Of course there are the favorite dishes-chicken rice, chicken noodles, french fries. The not so healthy sorts of food which we replicate at home with a healther, less oily version.  But mealtimes at our home have always long drawn affairs.

The latest to join our hall of fame of fussy eaters is Kristen, the milk guzzler who picks at her food at mealtimes and spits out whatever doesn't catch her fancy. It is always difficult to catch her at the point where she is hungry but not hungry enough to start yelling for milk. All the books say that a child at her age (almost 2) should be having regular meals and with their milk as a beverage. With Kristen, it's milk and more milk in between the snack-portioned mealtimes. 

So when, all of a sudden, (literally overnight) Kristen suddenly decides not to drink her milk and decides instead to open her mouth to receive spoon after spoon of pasta, I am stumped. I do recall praying about this but probably in passing rather than in earnest.  I believe God does listen to the smallest of prayers so I certainly hope ths is the beginning of a new dawn- a phase of eating rather than rejecting food. And so it was with great happiness that I spooned out the last spoonful of pasta and stew today at lunchtime and stared at the empty bowl in disbelief. 

Case notes

Kristen at 15 Months.
79cm tall. 9.5kg.

My blog is beginning to read like a doctors case notes. Just the facts. Nothing more. My mind seems watered down to that.  Surviving on 5 hours of sleep each night. On average. On bad nights it is five hours of broken sleep. Kristen isn't letting us sleep through the night yet. I blaming those 4 molars brusting through those baby gums. She makes up for the bad nights by being absolutely funny and charming in the day- which is why I manage to get by- and don't actually look the zombie I feel I am. And yes it is God's grace. To remain calm and collected with the 3 girls whizzing by, talking non stop, occasionally attacking each other (Kristen, a-ha! is a fighter too!) chasing each other round the house, asking me all sorts of questions as I am trying to reverse park at 1 km/h. (Of course I end up scraping the side of the car ever so slightly.)

At the end of the day, I am just too pooped to even think of writing about the 101 exciting things that happen each day. Which is why the log is just, a log, ....case notes.

Happy Anniversary....in advance

Nine years. We have been married for nine years! Seems like we were married only just yesterday. But you know what? I got the dates wrong in my diary. 11 Nov 2010. I marked it out in my diary and drew wedding bells. And then wrote, book dinner! But hey, my anniversary is on 10 Nov. Thankfully KM reminded me today and suddenly I am making all these last minute booking and babysitting arrangements. Thankfully, all 3 girls are asleep. Although I really should wake them up now (it is 5:30 already) if not I will definately regret not doing that tonight.

(Ok two girls are up. Can't write now.)

(Back to blogging.)

Planning for dinner sans kids is a major military operation. There are the grandmothers to call for babysitting. Checking KM's schedule. Finding a match between the grandmother's schedules and our own.

Not dinner on the 10th (our actual anniversary) because grandma (my mom) has her gym class. She has a personal trainer and usually makes these appointments way in advance. Not lunch on the 10th because granny (KM's mom) has another lunch date. How about Tuesday night the 9th? Grandma has work the next morning and has to go to bed early. At 6:00pm my mom calls. How about tonight?

Tonight? I exclaim, but isn't that a bit last minute? I am hot and sticky with my phone in one hand and my eyes on the laptop, scouring the restaurant reviews. I am not in any mood for a wedding anniversary celebration. But if the babysitter is available, tonight it will be. Suddenly the last minute arrangements for an anniversary dinner 2 days away become last minute arrangments for an dinner 2 hours away.

I call Sage. They are closed for the night. Then call Buko Nero. They are closed for the week, anyhow you usually need to book a month in advance. This must be the time of the year when Chefs take their holidays. So its down to our third choice, Jaan. (without Chef Andre who left earlier in the year to start a new restaurant.) I wonder if dinner will be as delightful as last year's.

It is 7:00pm. My mom arrives. I am combing my wardrobe for something to wear. My post-pregnancy body can only fit into 20% of my clothes. The Pucci lookalike sheath cannot get past my shoulders. Then I remember a little black dress at the back of my cupboard. I had insisted on getting it at a sale although it was too big at the time. Fortunately, this was the one thing I could now wear. I fish out some bling, whip out the oft not worn heels and in ten minutes, feel like a million dollars. It doesn't matter if I can't find a matching handbag or a wrap to hide my plunging neckline.

The dinner doesn't disappoint. Starter appetisers, and an array of desserts- raspberry sorbet balls, a selection of pastries, pralines, and a surprise anniversary birthday cake, thrown in on top of our 7 course degustation meal. Yum! By the end of the night I am so full I half-regret having asked for those extra black truffle brioches.

Two hours of frantic planning for a wonderful evening with the man of my dreams. Definately worth it.

First steps towards chinese literacy

I have been getting a little worried about the state of affairs at home with regards to learning chinese. Everyone seems to be doing something or other about this whole learning-to-speak-chinese thing. I speak what I can occasionally at home and the girls love their Chinese story books. But what I speak, I am embarrassed to admit (after 10 years of chinese classes at school and tuition) can only be at best rudimentary and I have come to realise, pre-school level. It doesn't quite go beyond basic single sentences. So whatever the girls pick up at home will remain at that level. My friend C says, "Don't speak mandarin at home, you will teach them the wrong things!" But I figured that some mandarin (albeit bad) is better than none. At least the girls are not averse to learning the language. Oh, they love the cheesy chinese karaoke DVDs.
A good friend J and I have kids around the same age so we are getting a chinese class going and having a native chinese speaker come in to run a weekly class. I really hope this works out with the teacher coming over. Ellie just doesn't like unaccompanied classes and I am trying not to make babysitting arrangements everytime one of the older girls go for classes. And hopefully Ellie and Caitlin will learn to speak chinese on their own, and that I too will get some practice with a real chinese speaker.

One year older

One year older. Past the mid thirty mark. Scary isn't it. The thing is I don't that much older. It is only when the aches (of a 38 week pregnancy) set in, and I have to hoist myself up in bed that I realise that I am my energy level is not as it was before.

KM took the day off and made dinner (pork ribs, roast beef, chicken peach roast, couscous and pepper salad, miso salad) for the immediate family and bought ice-cream cake from my favourite ice-cream shop. The thing about KM's cooking is that he has really raised the bar- when we go out to your regular al fresco cafe or sandwich-grille type of place, the food isn't wow! anymore. It is something that we could really have done at home and better, for that matter.

Meanwhile I am waiting to pop! Kristen (that's her name for now) seems to be taking her time. I thought she could have been a birthday present but she has decided to let us wait it out.

I want to be Nemo when I grow up

Third time round, the aches are setting in earlier. Backache, leg aches, pelvic aches. Sigh, must be my age. I just don't remember feeling so tired during my first two pregnancies. Its the June school holidays but I just don't feel like planning anything big. A trip to the supermarket with the girls is enough for one day. Anyhow, Ellie and Caitlin seem to like busying themselves around the house for most part of the day, and so far (this afternoon for example) I have not had to tear them apart.

I feel like a beached whale for the most part (hope I don't look it). Two more months to go!

Caitlin is getting funnier. This bit here is about what they want to be when they grow up. Caitlin wants to be "Nemo" or "an elephant". Ellie want to be "a Ballerina in the morning, Mermaid in the afternoon and Artist at night." No one wants to be a doctor or lawyer. Too much arty crafty activity at home I think.

Life and times

This is the first blog of the year. And its almost Febuary. I have been absolutely tired and had morning sickness for most of the last few weeks. We are expecting our 3rd! That's good news, but its taken a toll on blogging. Its just no fun managing two little girls with the nausea. I try to sleep early too, because the my sleep is always interrupted, especially since we got the girls into their own room. The last time I tried staying up till one, I had the flu for the rest of the week. Been busy setting up an online store too for a social enterprise which helps disadvantaged mothers.  Will link it to this site soon.

Anyway this is something I had to record.

KM, tired after a long day of work, hands Ellie her milk for the night, wordlessly, and rather grumpily "Hmmm!"
Ellie in reply, " Jesus doesn't say Hmmm!. He says 'let the children come to me'"
KM," Well, I am not as patient as Jesus"
Ellie, "Well I didn't say you WERE Jesus"

Whininess and clothes

Caitlin has begun asserting her will. From a whiny no! to on-the-floor wailing. Tantrums, they call them. Though never as bad as the ones Ellie used to put us through. And over the last 4 days, the whininess and non-cooperation made worse by a stomach flu. 

The issue lately has been centred around clothes. Caitlin has tons of clothes but she will only wear the ones with pictures on them. Almost always it is the "monkey t-shirt", and if that is not available the "lion t-shirt". "No I don't want this", followed by "How about this mama". And if we are going out and insist she cannot wear the scruffy monkey or lion bodysuits it has to be the butterfly t-shirt. And not just any butterfly t-shirt.

With Ellie it is skirts and dresses. Old skirts so short they have become mini-skirts.  
So we have a wardrobe stuffed with a whole lot of clothes but 2 girls who only want to wear the same few things everyday.

Growing up

Ellie and Catilin are playing so much on their own now that I actually hae time to blog in the day. There're best friends for most of the day and the snatching episodes are a lot more minor. I hope this will last. Hoorary!

Snatching and other domestic disturbances

Ellie and Caitlin are playing together a lot more these days but the snatching is driving me crazy! I really think it is a sister thing. I don't ever remember snatching my brother's toys. My conclusion is that sisters like the same things and want to play with the same things at the same time. I would have never thought of wrestling that transformer toy out of my brother's hands.

And Caitlin gets her hands in everything.

Saturday 15 Aug. We were having lunch and had our eyes of the table for a couple of seconds. In those few seconds, Caitlin was up on Ellie's highchair with my pink brush in her hand stirring the water in the fish bowl. She then lifted the brush up in the air flinging and shaking the water all over the table. We had to throw half the lunch away. Just couldn't stomach the thought of having fish-water in my salad, especially after fishing a couple of dead fish out of the bowl that morning.

Last Sunday 16 Aug. I was feeding Ellie. Always a challenge although I must say she is eating 3 times what she used to but it still takes forever. KM and I had planned to take her out for ice-cream for her one-on-one with her parents. The last few mouths take the longest but I was pretty determined that she should finish her meal before the outing. I had my plate in one hand and a spoon in another. Caitlin came by my side with a toy hammer, and I thought I heard "hit, hit". She was aiming for her toy on the floor but didn't get that far. It only takes 2 seconds to create a mess that takes 10 minutes to clean up. Ellie was pretty pleased that she didn't have to finish her meal.

A minor pee episode

I am going to try to go to bed early tonight. By eleven. That is early by my standards.

It is so difficult to stick to a schedule when you have kids. Today, my mom babysat Caitlin while Ellie was in school so that I could go for my weekly pilates class and get my groceries done. The plan was to drop Ellie off at my mom's after school so that I could get some time to myself to clear stuff at home. Just pack the study room for starters. Half way during the ride home from school, (Ellie's school is 5minutes away but I take a circuitous 20min scenic drive to get her to nap in the car) she says "Mama I sheesheed in the carseat." Why didn't she pee at school before I picked her up??? There went my plan to have some home-time to my self. I drove home, sorted Ellie out, and spent the next half and hour or so figuring out how to get the carseat cover off, and cleaning the peed-in seat. By which time there was only just enough time to make it to my mom's to pick everyone up and bring them back for dinner.

One good thing came out of this though. Ellie missed her afternoon nap and went to bed early. So at least I get a bit more of the night to myself.

Patience (Need more of it)

There are good days and there are bad. Sometimes in the middle of another Ellie episode I feel like throwing in the blanket and sending them both off to childcare and then regain my sanity at work. Almost everytime some one cries it is sharing-related (or rather not sharing), or attention-related.

More often than not it always begins like this. 1. Caitlin gets hold of something or other that belongs to Ellie. 2. Ellie notices it. 3. Ellie reaches over to snatch it back. 4. I intervene either by sepearating them, getting someone another toy or removing the toy or a combination of the above. An impossible situation 5. By this time Caitlin has either pinched Ellie or pulled her hair and Ellie has probably tried to hit back. 6. Both are bawling.

Of course I can't really "throw in the blanket". This is one job where quitting isn't an option. I remember a question my friend S once asked during lunch with a bunch of my old school friends. What is the one thing that you never expect when you become a parent. B (a full time mom with 4! kids) replied, "The need for patience". My answer was "lack of sleep". I've since thought it over. My answer (like B's) is patience and added to that, sacrifice.

Oh by the way, Ellie has moved out of our room. This is her third night in her own room.

Mandarin Time

Ellie got her first report card on Monday. It suddenly hit me. She’s only but she’s all grown up in a proper school with grades at mid-term. I had a chat with her principal and then her chinese lao shi. She’s doing pretty well in math (ok, not really math, just counting) and reads well for her age but talking to her chinese teacher brought back all these memories of my own experience with a language I never quite mastered.

She doesn’t respond much in chinese class; so her lao shi does not quite know what she knows or what she doesn’t. She doesn’t speak any chinese in school. “So what about the other children her age?” I asked. Well, they at least can name the objects at say little phrases, her lao shi replied. That got me a little bit worried. I didn’t think I was doing that badly with my chinese at home. We speak it maybe about 5% of the time, mainly to point out things to Ellie and Cait now and then and also to talk about the kids in front of them (we try to switch to our chinese dialect for that). And we sing a lot of chinese songs and read chinese books. All this was not enough; at least according to what I was hearing about Ellie’s progress in mandarin class from lao shi.

That very evening, we started our Mandarin time. At 7 in the evening, every speaks mandarin. Right now the mandarin conversations are between KM and I. Ellie speaks English and her version of made-up-Mandarin, and Caitlin her single English words. It isn’t perfect, but this is the best we can do. Today, three days into our new speak Mandarin programme and we forgot about Mandarin time. Will have to start all over again.

Where the good shopping is

When I do my weekly grocery shopping in my neighbourhood mall, I hurry past the shops and go straight to the task. With the remaining time I have in between dropping Ellie off and picking her up again I dart through a few shops in the mall usually picking up (again) things we need. Books for the kids, craft stuff, vitamins; things which really don’t count as shopping.

Well, since last sunday the neighbourhood mall as become my latest shopping haunt. When I say shopping I mean clothes shopping. I never would have imagined getting anything from the shops I’d whizzed past and barely glanced at in a hurry to get my errands done. After all, this was the neighbourhood mall- not Orchard Road.

My eyes were opened last Sunday, when our family met for dinner at this same mall. My cousin, rarely in these parts and arriving early for dinner, decided to do some window shopping. When we met for dinner she had bought two designer dresses at great bargains from a boutique I’d never even noticed before.

So today, when we arrive at the mall with Ellie fast asleep, and my mom in tow to manage Caitlin, I make a beeline for the tiny hole-in-the-wall boutique with a stock of designer labels with labels either snipped off or missing. One hour later, after lots of trying on I immerge with a pair of Paul Smith Jeans (which I had to buy because they made my legs look so skinny) and a little black dress (which Audrey Hepburn could have worn). I head to another little shop across the aisle, and my mom with Caitlin in one arm, is holding up a Diane Von Furstenburg jersey dress. Of course I couldn’t resist.

More about Potty

Ellie is officially potty trained. She’s gone to school without diapers and did not have any accidents. Hooray! I think she is one of the last of her friends to be potty trained. We have been encouraging it for so long-star charts, an expensive potty which became some sort of boat for Ellie’s collection of toys much to KM’s annoyance, a selection of underwear. KM’s prized potty has finally been put to good use. Caitlin too is trying to be part of this whole shee shee business by checking the potty and dipping her hands into it (urgghh!).

Falling asleep and going potty

Ellie has been sleeping earlier now that I put both girls to bed together. Both are usually in bed by about 9:45pm. In theory, I now have a little bit more time at night to do my own thing. In reality I find myself falling asleep with them only to awake at around 11:30pm with little left of the night.

It has been a tiring one week. KM has been ill and been in isolated from the rest of the family; confined to the study and its just been non-stop looking after the girls with the helper. So at the end of the day I am simply exahausted. Yesterday KM had his first meal with the family after one week of gourmet tray-meals. (Did I mention that I have discovered a new found love for cooking? Surprise surprise.) Am really looking forward to having him back in the fold.My theory is that if you stay at home long enough, you will likely end up doing all these 1950s domestic things- cooking, baking, sewing. Don’t really know if that is a good or bad thing. Now that I have finally resigned from my architecture job (yes, I finally) am have to start figuring what I really want to do with the rest of my life.

And updates. Ellie is almost potty trained. She’s moved on from insisting on wearing diapers and having accidents sans diapers. Now it is “private” potty time. “I need some private time.” We are not allowed to look when she runs down the corridor to the potty. And today for the record it was four times with no accidents.

Stunt-girl Cait and barely-eating Ellie

I wouldn't expect someone just one try riding her rocking horse standing up. But that's what Caitlin our little stunt girl does. She's all over the place and I can't turn my back without fearing that she will fall and bump her head again. She is a lot more into climbing and exploring her physical environment than Ellie ever was at that age. Bouncing on and of the sofa. Climbing on and off Ellie's tricycle (she is more interested in the tricycle than Ellie is). That the two sisters are turning out quite different is quite fascinating, since KM and I have had the same parenting style for both. Its probably a combination of birth order and nature but Caitlin is just so easy going and is always laughing with that gleeful glint in her eye.and people-oriented while Ellie just wants the attention for herself and can't stand sharing it. Caitlin eats almost anything and Ellie hardly eats anything- she just has so little interest in food.

Today I managed to feed Ellie the most she's eaten in a week in record time. She's addicted to milk (I know that fills her up) and short of having her go cold-turkey, we've tried everything to get nutrition past her lips. I always get so stressed about her having bird-sized meals and mealtimes are always a battle. What worked today was turning the whole feeding thing into a game. At teatime, I pretended that I was at the Botanic Gardens feeding two little fish (Caitlin and Ellie) in the carpet pond by popping bread into their mouths, deliberately using Caitlin as a catalyst for the feeding exercise. She got the small pieces and Ellie the big ones. By the end of the game Ellie had finished almost a whole piece of bread. Then at dinner time we had a eating match. I laid her pasta bolognaise in an ice cube tray with tiny treats at intervals so she had to finish the food in 3 compartments or so before arriving at a treat (bits of gummies and seaweed). She finished her meal in 15 minutes. The things parents do to get their child to eat.

Tiredness and first steps

Its been a really tiring these last few weeks. Just been minding the kids and doing housework non-stop. Just don’t know how other moms manage without a helper or housekeeper. I leave the girls alone for a couple of seconds and Ellie is leaning too hard on Caitlin or scratching her hand or trying to roll over her. Its just almost impossible to get anything done. I put Caitlin in the carrier to get her away from Ellie and have my hands free and she’s squirming to get out. There is always a table to clear, toys to put away, the laundry to get done, stuff to wipe off the floor. I think I went one week without reading the papers which just moved from the doorway to the pile in the kitchen to the recycling pile in the yard.

Caitlin’s just all over the place. Our portable vacuum cleaner eating everything in her path. Ellie is always drawing, colouring or cutting something so there is always paper to munch and paper to get out of her way. Caitlin’s a lot more active than Ellie was at the same age. She’s already trying to walk. She took her first baby steps two days ago on 18 November and was walking 5-6 steps on her own the very next day. She’ll probably be running by her first birthday. Ellie walked at 13 or 14 months.

Caitlin crawling

I was reading old blog entries. At eight months Ellie was still not crawling. Caitlin however has been crawling for 2 weeks. Since last Tuesday, Aug 5th. Commando-style- on her tummy with her hands clasped in front. She makes a beeline for all of Ellie’s stuff. Stuff she knows Ellie doesn’t want her to get near. Waffles the bear. “Mama’s scarf” (Ellie’s security blanket).

Ellie has been so difficult. And its mostly Caitlin related. Acting up in every way imaginable to get the undivided attention she used to get. Of course, the fact that she is going through an especially willful stage of her life doesn’t make it easier both for me and for her. I would definately go potty if not for moments like these:

Me: What are you doing?

Ellie: I am writing e-mail to mama.

Me: What are you writing?

Ellie: Thank you for making my day!